The Pit Bull Poem
By Dee Faye
My name is Pitbull and I’m a doggie sweet,
I can’t understand why you cross the street
Or how you panic whenever I come near,
Don’t you know there’s nothing to fear?
Or so say those who come to my defense
Screens and doors don’t stop me so why should a fence?
Don’t blame me for being the bad dog in the hood
After all, I’m just badly misunderstood.
That old lady that to death I did maul
Despite my owner claiming it was a fall
Tendons, muscle, and flesh I did rip
But according to her, it was just a nip
I have my defenders, loyal and true
It’s all how ya raise ‘em! or say say you
It’s not the breed! Chihuahuas are worse
But no ankle biter puts kids in a hearse
Death and destruction, disfigurement and sorrow
I love what I do and can’t wait til tomorrow
To fool my fur mommy who regards me with pride
Maybe tomorrow I’ll make sure she dies
Or maybe her toddler, on a blanket playing
Take that cute photo now, as later I’ll be slaying
It will be him, or maybe her daughter
After all, my name is actually Mauler
I’ll lick you to death! I’m the dog of nannies!
But breathe the wrong way and you’ll need grafts from your fanny
A seizure, a movement, abuse I never had
You and your pals know I’m actually quite bad
Not good with kids, not good with dogs!
The shelter warned you but your ears, they were clogged
What you wanted is what you saw
A dog in need, look! He gives his paw!
Adopt me! Love me! I’m a dog like any other
Even though I’m likely to kill the old friend of your mother
Because I’m a pit bull and that’s what I do
Some of us are sweet, but do you actually know who?
So go take the chance and please spring me free
I’ll be the best dog, you ever did see
Until your kid pisses me off
Or maybe it’ll be you
Your friend or your lover
You have no clue
Or maybe the Golden at the local dog park
Known her for years but I’m set off by her bark
Or maybe that Maltese that walks past every day,
Give me a moment and I’m happy to slay
The kid on a bike, the child walking to school
I’m so sweet! Oh do I have you fooled!
I’m a pitbull and someday I’ll turn
I’ll leave your loved ones ashed up in an urn
Yes I’m a pitbull and oh, aren’t I cute?
Oh how easy, so easy, it is to dupe
Bah! say my defenders, it was only a nip!
Upon closer inspection she’s missing a lip
You innocent fur moms, you stupid defenders
Have no idea I’m a great pretender
I pretend to be stable, I pretend to be sweet
The reality is, to me you’re just meat
I’m a pitbull and look into my eyes
I’m smiling and sweet but the facts, they don’t lie
Adopt me and love me and give me a chance
And make sure to blow off my victims’ dumb rants
Dogsbite! and Kenneth! Those dealers of fear!
You’ve nothing to worry about, I’m ever so dear!
Until the day I’m not and your children will pay
For the fact you mocked them and wished them away
I’ll kill and I’ll maul and I’ll turn on a dime
But don’t worry, my sweet, now isn’t the time
Maybe tomorrow, maybe next year
The time is coming and it’s growing so near
My defenders won’t hear it, they know that’s not me
Their kids I do cuddle, yet others will flee
My defenders don’t understand why I’m hated and feared
They attack and insult and they troll and they jeer
Those whom I’ve bitten, those whom I’ve killed
Those I’ve destroyed that never did me ill
The excuses are many and always the same
It’s not the breed! The dog’s not to blame!
It’s how I was raised, it’s how I was trained,
Besides, pitbull is not even a name
We all know that Chihuahuas are worse
I’ve got a bad rap, so unfairly I’m cursed!
So go ahead adopt me and show me some love
Take me home to your children, I’m gentle as a dove
Until I am not and you pay the price
For believing the lies, your kids sacrificed
Or your pets or your friends or maybe even you
Because I’m a pitbull – and that’s what I do.
—Dee Faye, 2020